I had been allocated to 5 different patients. One patient was a 13 years old young girl. She was admitted with an infection onthe back side of her ear lobes. Doctors tried to find the exact causes. But they could not. She experienced severe pain and the infection extended.
She was in my ward for 3 or 4 days only. During this period, we became very close, her wanting me to do all our activities, as well as providing medication. As her infection extended to her neck, her speech was difficult. So, she wrote her messages on a piece of paper. She was a very bright student and had lots of aims to achieve in the future. Her dreams were shared with me.
I was doing my evening shift and was her attending nurse. She became very sick. Our doctors decided to shift her to the Intensive Care Unit, but she refused to go.
Her parents tried to convince her, but she refused. Her parents requested me to talk with her and my doctor also said the same. So, I went and talked with her. She stated, ‘I don’t want to move anywhere’. Again, I explained `there are staff who are very sweet and will take care of you well. Your health would be improved very soon’. She wrote in that paper, ‘Can you come there and be with me?’ I knew I could not. So, I promised her that I would visit her daily. Then she accepted. After all my procedure, I told her ‘don`t worry, I will see you soon’. She happily said bye.
Time is our enemy. Yes! The very next day was my off duty. So, I could not visit her. In the next two subsequent days, I was very busy at my ward, so I could not meet her, but I enquired about her condition. I got the news that she was very sick and ventilator had been given. I decided next day I should visit her.
“I did not think that would be the last day I saw her”
That day, I entered the hospital and said to my friends ‘I need to visit a girl in ICU. So, inform our nurse in charge that I will return in 10 minutes.’ I went to ICU. I knew many staff over there. I asked about that girl. I was shocked by their reply. That small, young 13 years old kid had died. I did not keep my promise. I did not think that would be the last day I saw her. I know ventilator is painful, how she tolerated it. She might expect me to visit her, but I broke the promise.
After 7 years, till today, when I think about her, it feels hard. I have seen many deaths, but the girl`s death still makes me cry.
Let her soul rest in peace